Thursday, May 31, 2012

The Silver Linings of the Zombie Apocalypse

May is Zombie Awareness Month, for those of you who are unaware. Most of my friends are aware that I'm a huge fan of zombie stories and movies. The Zombie Apocalypse is my favorite end of the world scenario to contemplate. Last year for Zombie Awareness Month I ran daily survival tips on my Facebook and Twitter pages. This year I decided to look on the bright side of the end of the world. I've decided to compile my entire list here on my very modest blog. Feel free to add your own silver linings in the comments section.

1. No more bills to pay.
2. Don't have a work schedule to worry about.
3. Reading time galore. (When not running from zombies.)
4. Get plenty of exercise without a membership fee.
5. Carbon emissions will drop to almost nil, so no more global warming.
6. All groceries will be free.
7. No more rush hour traffic ever again.
8. Lost of extra clothes lying about.
9. No more doctor visits.
10. No more lawyers or lobbyists.
11. Overpopulation is no longer a concern.
12. Paranoia is a plus rather than a minus.
13. Freedom to travel without a passports.
14. A sudden surplus of natural resources.
15. It's a chance to practice all those survival skill you learned watching Bear Grills.
16. Plenty of material for making your own horror movie.
17. No more news media scare tactics.
18. It's the cheapest diet plan.
19. Zombies can't drag race through your neighborhood.
20. Zombies can't blare their stereos or throw wild parties.
21 All those annoying neighborhood dogs are now an early warning system.
22. Credit card debt disappears.
23. Political parties are now extinct.
24. No more politicians.
25. Insomnia is an asset.
26. High fat and sodium diets aren't an issue any longer.
27. The neighborhood will be quiet (except the moans of the zombies.)
28. No need to set your alarm clock.
29. The phone won't ring in the middle of the night.
30. No solicitors knocking at your door.
31. Perfect excuse not to bathe. (Water is for drinking.)

No comments: