Cthulhu Comes to Cross-stitching

I am in the process of listening to the entirety of the Lovecraft library as part of the Geek Girl Book Club. I've read a couple of his stories, and I am enjoying hearing them again. I have a friend that is a huge fan of Lovecraft, he was part of a chain crafting meme on Facebook. You posted that you would make 5 hand made items for the first 5 people to comment, then they in turn are suppose to post the same on their wall, to infinity. So for him, I made the following bookmark in honor of his love for Lovecraft.

I think I may make several of them in honor of Lovecraft. Who better to hold your place in a book than an Elder God?

Spring is Here, A Little Early

 Life is full of challenges, setbacks, and new beginnings. Our family has definitely had our share of the first two in 2012. I've tried very hard to see these changes as new beginnings, but it's not always easy when you are in the middle of it.

I've been substitute teaching since a week after I left the charter school, but it's an unstable income which causes its own variety of stress. So during my spring break I redoubled my efforts to find another job, the looming end of the school year causing me a bit of panic. I stumbled across an ad on Craigslist, and called. It was for a canvassing position (yes, those annoying people that come to your door), and I got offered an interview right away.

It is a job I have absolutely no previous experience with, but since the field I have experience in has fallen flat lately I figured a drastic change in direction might be called for. So I jumped out on a limb and completely stepped out of my comfort zone. I guess desperation has a way of making people do that.

I am just beginning my second week as a canvasser, and I'm mostly enjoying it. Lots of walking (which is helping me train for the 5K in June) and I get to talk to a variety of people. I am having to push myself in areas that I'm not really comfortable in. I'm having to be more self-confident and assertive, two things which I have always struggled with. I am worried about keeping my job on a fairly regular basis, not because I'm terrible but because I'm still learning and my last job experience didn't work out so well. I'm still seeking a teaching job, but Minnesota actually has a teacher surplus so it may be a couple of years yet before I can get my foot back in that door.

I've been looking for a house for our family to live in, but there aren't many rental properties in the area. The few that are, don't allow pets. So it looks like we'll have to settle for separate apartments in the same complex. The end of May is our deadline to be out of this house, so it's crunch time.

Now, onto things that are going well. The Girl is growing up and maturing in a way that I am very proud of. We saw Hunger Games over the weekend (which we all really enjoyed) and my husband and I got to observe her with some of her friends. It was interesting to see the difference in her when she was interacting with her peers rather than with her family. She is much more serious and intense when talking to her age mates. It still makes me feel strange when she talks about her 10th grade friend. Not because she has one, but because it's now age appropriate for her to do so. Where did all the time go? Is she really only one more school year away from high school? YIKES! I'm getting old.

If you've been wondering about the seemingly random pictures of cross-stitching, those are documenting my progress for my State Fair entry. Though I quickly realized I'll be entering it in the 2013 fair rather than the 2012 one. I really do wish that the resolutions of my life issues were making the same simple, slow progress toward being fixed. I know I'm taking all the right steps to fix things, but it doesn't feel like there is much change in our circumstances yet. I know that sometimes we don't see the results of our actions immediately, but I've never been very good at waiting. I'm good at waiting in line, but not for the big stuff.

My motto right now is borrow from Dori, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming."

At Left Brain Turn Right by Anthony Meindl

As most of my friends can tell you, self-help books are not my usual reading fare. In fact, by and large, I consider them a rip off. They are often platitudes wrapped in various mumbo-jumbo and try to claim they are the only answer, etc. I just don't understand taking generalized advice from a complete stranger that doesn't know anything about your situation and state of mind.

This book caught my eye when I was looking through the First Reads give-away on Goodreads, a social network for book lovers. There were two reasons this book grabbed my attention: 1. I thought my writer husband might benefit from increasing ways to access his creativity. and 2. I was drawn by the humor in the subtitle. Anyone that uses that kind of humor in the title of the book isn't going to be pretentious or self-righteous in their advice.

It is difficult to decide how to approach a book that you need to review quickly, yet is a 15 week process to achieve the goal set forth in the text. I decided to read through the whole book, and do the homework for the first two weeks. I plan on completing the exercises in their totality.

Mr. Meindl is straightforward and funny in his writing. Even within the scope of the exercises, he does not insist that there is only one way to successfully complete them. He provides a rough outline and gives multiple examples of ways to go about it to fit it into your existing lifestyle. He does not expect the reader to implement everything at once, hence the 15 week layout.

The first exercise is to stop playing with your phone. The first sentence of the assignment actually says to turn your phone off; however, Mr. Meindl fully recognizes that this isn't a realistic option for most as their cell phone is their only phone. I was already aware that I frequently use my phone as a security blanket, messing with it out of discomfort or boredom or anxiety about a situation. I had even focused on not playing with my phone in the recent past. This week went a little smoother. The trick is often figuring out the difference between when you are using it as a tool versus a toy.

The second homework assignment is to close your eyes for 5 minutes at the beginning of your day and just focus on your breathing. I admit, I was not successful with this one. I was waking up so tired that I feared falling asleep while breathing. I am going to make another attempt at this.

There were a couple of passages in the book that really struck me, other than his amusing anecdotes and stories from his childhood. In fact, it's something that my husband and I have discussed on many occasions and a big reason I dislike celebrity gossip magazines (though I still can't help looking at the headlines in the grocery checkout line) and reality tv shows.

Someone else's path may seem more glamorous, or more interesting, or exciting, but it's only because we aren't fully present to -- and living our own -- glamorous, interesting, exciting journey. We spend so much time and energy coveting what other have that we lose a sense of gratitude that we've been given our own path. We're trying to fulfill ourselves through the living of someone else's life.

I'm not saying that I'm a jetsetter in any way, but if you are always comparing yourself to the Joneses or the Pitts of the world, you'll never be satisfied with the good things you have. And keep in mind, that many of those celebrities would love to have a couple days where they could go to the store without having to hide or be mobbed by the press or fans.

Mr. Meindl offers 25 exercises, or homework assignments, to help you be more aware of yourself, your attitudes, and the events in your life.  He suggests ways to help you cope with the stressors in your life, yet never claims that what he's suggesting is a cure all or a miracle. Many of the activities will simply help you slow down and examine things as they are, and give you a way to step back from them a bit.  The focus of the book is on enhancing creativity, yet many of the exercises simultaneously offer a way for the reader to improve their quality of life by examining and adjusting their reactions to the events in their lives.

I quite enjoyed reading this book. I am also aware that some of the later homework assignments will pose a challenge for me as they will make me examine things that I would prefer not to. However, one can not grow without stepping outside of their comfort zone.

Enjoy!

The Descent by Jeff Long

The story begins with a new-age expedition into the mountains of Nepal.

The explorers become trapped in a mountain cave during a freak snowstorm. Within the cave, they discover a mutilated and mummified corpse. They soon discover that they are not alone in the warren of caves that wind through the mountain. The opening is quite scary and horrific, it's easy to feel that this segment inspired the British horror movie of the same name.

After the opening section, there is an abrupt shift in the tone and feel of the story. It becomes a tale of adventure, colonization, and conquest. This was a bit jarring at first, but soon I was swept up in the journey. There are two major factions intent on the underground world: Helios (a mega-corporation, with much of the evil that tends to imply in fiction) and the Beowulf group (a group of scholars seeking the physical source for the legend of Satan).

Helios has sent down an invading force to claim all the profitable resources below the earth's surface. It is largely militaristic and focused on wiping out the native populace, called "Hadals" or "Haddies". The Hadals defend their territory, but are largely outnumbered. Suddenly their attacks on the invaders stop and they seem to have disappeared. Some flee deeper into the earth, others begin surfacing in our world.

The Beowulf group manages to infiltrate the Helios expedition in the form of a young nun named, Ali van Schade. None of the groups are physically healthy enough to make the journey themselves. Ali's specialty is linguistics and she has been trying to find the first language. They discover a remarkable number of similarities between the hadals and humans as well as the obvious differences. 

There is much complexity in the story's plot and the mythos provided. The exploration of the consequences of finding the "literal Hell" are interesting as well. Long manages to surprise the reader with several plot twists. His descriptions of the world underneath the world are frequently breathtakingly beautiful. I look forward to reading the sequel.

Happy reading!

The beginning of 2012 has been very tumultuous time for my family. We had a great holiday and were feeling very optimistic about the coming year. At the school I was working at, there was an opportunity to work in the library and I was very excited about the possibility of doing something different. I felt very confident in my ability to do the job well and in my chances of getting the job.

On the day I was suppose to interview for the position, I got a huge surprise. First, my interview was delayed due to other meetings. Then I was informed that they had decided to not consider me for the position after all. I was floored by this, as we had discussed it Monday and they seemed to think it was exactly right for me and vice versa. I was asked to meet with the head of the school later that day as he couldn't attend the morning meeting. I thought this was a little odd, but figured he was going to explain why they had decided against giving me the job. The only thing mentioned was that I had misspelled his name (the only time I did that during my employment there). I couldn't meet him at 3, because I would be teaching science class, which surprised the principal. So, it was arranged that I'd meet him at 4:15 when my partner teacher could cover my bus duty.

Now, this all occurred on Friday the 13th, a day on which I usually have good luck. I come to find out that the meeting was not to explain why I didn't get the opportunity to work in the library, but to tell me that I am no longer employed with them. I was completely shocked. I will not go into details here, but it was not justified. They asked if I still wanted to stay on teaching Saturday school, and I agreed to do so. One, I had already committed to teach it and I keep my word. Two, my family and I would be needing the money. Three, I enjoy it.

Today, I sent them a letter of protest countering each of the stated reasons in my termination letter. I'm not sure how that will go over, but I felt that I needed some form of redress for the false claims against me.

After the initial shock and anger wore off, I began to view it as an opportunity to purpose the job I really wanted. I found a job opportunity immediately following my dismissal, sadly it did not go anywhere. I have returned to substitute teaching, trying to become familiar to nearby principals and teachers in an effort to increase my chances of finding a permanent position. Job hunting is exhausting and frustrating, but I will keep looking though I may end up in another field. I keep telling myself, "Just keep swimming.". That I will get a break, make it to the first interview.

In other news, I have decided to enter a cross-stitch design into the state fair. I love doing projects, and I've never entered a arts/crafts contest before. The design was chosen by my friends and family on Facebook and Google+ from a selection of pictures because I couldn't choose just one. The favorite was a Celtic knot stained glass window. I removed the trees in the background, and turned it into a pattern. The minimum size for a piece is 25 inches squared. The pattern is 48 pages. The finished product will have approximately 407,652 stitches.

I started sewing on January 8th, and my first night's progress is shown on the right. I chose to stitch the design 25 count fabric using 146 colors, this means there are 25 stitches per inch of fabric. I decided to incorporate a shiny blending filament for the glass parts, but to leave the blending filament out of the edging. I am hoping to show the same patience in my job search as I do in my cross-stitching. I admit that I feel much more pressure on the job front than the contest front as the stakes are much higher.

I have to submit my entry by April, the design must be completed in August so that I can drop it off at the fair. I'm hoping that I do well in the competition, though I expect that the ladies that have been participating for years will have the upper hand. Minnesota sweetened the prizes this year in honor of it being the 100th anniversary of the fair. They have increased all prizes by $100.

I have been working diligently on my design in the evenings and on Sundays.I feel I've made very good progress, despite the fact that I'm only about 1/3 of the way trough the first page of the design. The number of colors in the design means that there aren't many large blocks of one color, so I must change colors often. To the left is my progress as of yesterday, I have reach the left edge of the first page of the design. It is approximately 4 inches across at the widest point.

Somehow I will have to find a balance between this and reading. I want to read Dragonflight by Anne McCaffery in February. I am also trying to enroll in school to get my Media/Library Specialist degree and certification. It took a while to process my admittance and financial aid paperwork, so I'm late getting enrolled for the Spring semester and I'm not sure I'll be able to sign up for classes, but there is always the Summer semester. I am really glad January is over, and hope that the year improves greatly.